Jokes of the Day – Jokes Factory

Son : Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl.Father : That’s great son. Who is she?

Son : It’s Sandra, the neighbour’s daughter.

Father : Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.

The boy is naturally bummed out; but a couple of months later :

Son : Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!

Father : That’s great son. Who is she?

Son : It’s Angela, the other neighbour’s daughter.

Father : Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Angela is also your sister. This went on couple of times and son was so mad, He went straight to his mother crying.

Son : Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because dad is their father!

The mother hugs him affectionately and says : My love, You can date whoever you want. He isn’t your Father..!!

Miscellaneous Jokes

One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of Indians attaked them and knocked them out. When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe’s throne. The chief then said, “All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me.” So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed. Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed. The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, “Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you’d have gotten away!” The second guy answered while still laughing, “I couldn’t help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples.”

Office Jokes – Jokes Factory

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”

Jokes of the Day – Jokes Factory

A woman starts dating a doctor. She eventually becomes pregnant and they don’t know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, “I know what we’ll do. After I’ve operated on the priest, I’ll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle.” “Do you think it will work?” she asks. “It’s worth a try,” he says. The doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation, he goes to the priest and says, “Father, you’re not going to believe this.” “What happened?” asks the priest. “You gave birth to a child!” “But that’s impossible!” says the priest. “I just did the operation,” insists the doctor. “It’s a miracle! Here’s your baby.” About 15 years go by, and the priest realizes he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says, “Son, I have something to tell you. I’m not your father.” The son says, “What do you mean, you’re not my father?” The priest replies, “I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.”

Jokes of the Day – Jokes Factory

A woman starts dating a doctor. She eventually becomes pregnant and they don’t know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, “I know what we’ll do. After I’ve operated on the priest, I’ll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle.” “Do you think it will work?” she asks. “It’s worth a try,” he says. The doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation, he goes to the priest and says, “Father, you’re not going to believe this.” “What happened?” asks the priest. “You gave birth to a child!” “But that’s impossible!” says the priest. “I just did the operation,” insists the doctor. “It’s a miracle! Here’s your baby.” About 15 years go by, and the priest realizes he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says, “Son, I have something to tell you. I’m not your father.” The son says, “What do you mean, you’re not my father?” The priest replies, “I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.”

Relationship Jokes – Jokes Factory

Wife: “How would you describe me?” Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” 

Wife: “What does that mean?” 

Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.” 

Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?” 

Husband: “I’m just kidding!”

Jokes of the Day – Jokes Factory

A woman starts dating a doctor. She eventually becomes pregnant and they don’t know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, “I know what we’ll do. After I’ve operated on the priest, I’ll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle.” “Do you think it will work?” she asks. “It’s worth a try,” he says. The doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation, he goes to the priest and says, “Father, you’re not going to believe this.” “What happened?” asks the priest. “You gave birth to a child!” “But that’s impossible!” says the priest. “I just did the operation,” insists the doctor. “It’s a miracle! Here’s your baby.” About 15 years go by, and the priest realizes he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says, “Son, I have something to tell you. I’m not your father.” The son says, “What do you mean, you’re not my father?” The priest replies, “I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.”Today’s JokeKingmanLike11661Social Media

School Jokes – Jokes Factory

After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, “I had sex with my teacher.” She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son’s room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, “I had sex with my teacher.” The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, “No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts.”

School Jokes – Jokes Factory

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?” Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.” Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?” The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.” Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

Political Jokes – Jokes Factory

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.” The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.” The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.” The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?” The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.” “Done!” replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

स्वर्गसरी पाँचपोखरी

गुगलमा खोजी गर्दा कतैबाट देखिएको पाँचपोखरीको तस्बिरले औधी लोभ्याएको थियो। त्यसैले सिन्धुपाल्चोकको भोताङमा रहेको पाँचपोखरी यात्रा तय भयो। पाँच पोखरीहरू एकै ठाउँ रहेको थलो। त्यो पनि करबि ४२ सय मिटर उचाइमा। काठमाडौँबाट पाँचपोखरी यात्रा तय गर्ने हो भने चाबहिल, चुच्चेपाटीबाट सुरु गरिने तीनघन्टे बस यात्राले मेलम्ची पुर्‍याउँछ। पाँचपोखरीको यात्रा चौताराबाट पनि गर्न सकिन्छ । मेलम्चीबाट पाँच घन्टा अघि लागेपछि पुगिन्छ, मानेखर्क। मानेखर्क अर्थात् बस बिसाउने अन्तिम ठाउँ। त्यसपछि सुरु हुन्छ पाँचपोखरीको पदयात्रा। त्यसभन्दा अगाडि लागेपछिको पहिलो रात हामी भोताङमा बस्यौँ। र, भोलिपल्टबाट सुरु भयो, उदेकलाग्दो उकालो र सुनसान बाटोको यात्रा। १० किलोको भारी झोला बोकेर करबि सात घन्टा हिँडेपछि हामी थाकिसकेका थियौँ। र, दोस्रो दिन ताड्गुमा बस्यौँ। यो रुट जति सुन्दर छ, उत्तिकै पूर्वाधारविहीन पनि। दोस्रो दिनको बसाइका लागि पुरानो छाना भएको एउटा गोठ फेला पार्‍यौँ। हाम्रो टेन्ट त्यहीँ खडा भयो र सबैले पोलेको आलु र सातु खाएर सुत्यौँ।

यो रुट उकालो, ओरालो हुनाले अलिक कठिन छ। तर पनि घामको किरणले सेताम्य भएको गणेश र जुगल हिमालले यात्राभर मोहनी लगाउँछ। तेस्रो दिन पाँच घन्टाको यात्रापछि नोसामपाटीमा केही मिनेटको थकाइ मार्‍यौँ हामीले। त्यसै बेला पाँचपोखरीबाट झर्दै तल आएका भरियाहरू भेटिए। हामीले घुम्न हिँडेको भन्यौँ । उनीहरू रमाए र छिटो हिँड्न सुझाए पनि। हामीलाई भने हुस्सु लागेको मौसम र गोरेटो छेउका पहेँला झारले थकानबीचमै रमाइलोको अनुभूतिसमेत गराइरहेको थियो। पाँचपोखरी जाँदा जति बढी गन्तव्य नजिकिन्छ, उत्तिकै चिसो बतास चल्न थाल्छ। कान, मुख र हात नीला हुन थाल्छन्। झारबाट अनौठो गन्ध आउन थाल्छ। त्यस दिन गन्तव्य पुगिछाड्ने भन्दै अँध्यारोसम्म करबि १२ घन्टा हिँडेपछि बल्ल पाँचपोखरी पुगियो। त्यहाँ केही पर्यटकलाई बास बस्नका लागि टिनको छाना हालेको पाटी बनाइएको रहेछ। हामी त्यही बस्यौँ, जहाँ विदेशी पर्यटक पनि साथै थिए। उनीहरूले कालो चिया र साक्पा दिएर हामीसँग मित्रताको सद्भाव देखाए।

पाँचपोखरीमा भोलिपल्ट बिहान उठ्दा यात्राभरका सबै दुःख एकनिमेषमै बिर्सियो। चिसो हावा, पहाड र हिमालको काख, हरयिाली वातावरण र एकै स्थानमा पाँच-पाँच पोखरी। सबै पोखरीमा नीलो आकाश र त्यसका बादलहरू ऐनाजस्तै सजिएका थिए। यति सुन्दर दृश्य त कुनै शब्दमा बखान गर्न सकिँदैन। केही साथीहरूले पोखरीको पानी असाध्यै चिसो भए पनि आँट गरेर नुहाए। एउटा पोखरीलाई पूर्णरूपमा घुम्न ३० मिनेट लाग्दो रहेछ। पाँचपोखरीमा भगवान् शिवको मन्दिर रहेछ। ढुंगामा बयान गरिएको त्यहाँको किंवदन्ती निकै रोचक छ। जसमा भनिए अनुसार झन्डै २ हजार ३ सय २५ वर्षअगाडि प्रख्यात सिकारी बुम्वा बाइवा सिकार खेल्दै हाल पाँचपोखरी रहेको स्थान पुग्दा धान खेती गररिहेको देखेछन्। यस्तो हिउँ पर्ने ठाउँमा पनि खेती गर्ने को होला भनी छेउमा जाँदा धान खेती गर्नेमध्येका मानिस (महादेव) सिकारी बुम्वालाई देख्नेबित्तिकै सम्पूर्ण धान खेती गर्ने खेताला, यसै पाँचपोखरीको हाल मन्दिर रहेको स्थानमा अलप भएछन्। यो दृश्य देखेपछि बुम्वाले आफ्नो सिकारी कुकुरलाई लगाएको घन्टी फुकाली रोपाइँ गर्दा अलप भएको ठाउँमा झुन्ड्याई मन्दिरको स्थापना गरी फर्केछन्।

त्यसयता हरेक वर्ष भदौ महिनाको एकादशीदेखि जनै पूणिर्माको दिनसम्म यहाँ मेला लाग्ने गर्छ। र, टाढा-टाढाबाट हजारौँ संख्यामा भक्तजनहरू जुट्छन्। पाँचपोखरीमा रहेको भगवान् शिवको मन्दिरमा आई पूजा गरेमा सुख, शान्ति र महिलाहरूले शिवसरह श्रीमान् पाउने र बिहेपश्चात् सन्तान नहुनेहरूको मनोकामना पूरा हुने धार्मिक विश्वासले गर्दा यो तीर्थस्थल ज्यादै लोकपि्रय हुन पुगेको रहेछ। इन्द्रावती र ब्रह्मायणी नदीको उद्गमस्थलका रूपमा रहेका यी पाँच पोखरी सबैका बेग्लाबेग्लै नामसमेत छन्, भैरव कुण्ड, सरस्वती कुण्ड, गणेश कुण्ड, सूर्य कुण्ड र नाग कुण्ड। यसको धार्मिक पक्ष खोतल्दै जाने हो भने त स्कन्ध पुराणको हिमवत् खण्डमा पञ्चपोखरी नामको महान् तीर्थस्थलको वर्णन छ, जसलाई तीर्थराज प्रयाग र बाँडगंगा (कुरुक्षेत्र) समानका तीर्थ स्थल भनिएको छ। पाँचपोखरीवरपर करबि चार घन्टा फेरो लगाउँदाको आनन्द यहाँ आइपुग्ने जो कोहीले पनि जीवनभर बिर्सन सक्दैन। प्रकृति र धार्मिक आस्थाको यो सुन्दर संगम यायावरीहरूका लागि आकर्षक स्थान हो। झन्डै ५ देखि ६ दिनमा पाँचपोखरीको यात्रा टुंग्याएरै काठमाडौँ फर्कन सकिन्छ। मौका मिले र मन लागे पुगे हुन्छ, पाँचपोखरी।

Langtang Village Resque

Facts Before Climbing Mount Everest

Since the early 1920s, the mysterious Mount Everest has attracted mountaineers and scientists from across the globe. Hundreds have lost their lives while making attempts to conquer the tallest peak in the world, yet the fascination continues. The month of May, also called ‘the window,’ is considered to be the ideal time to scale Mount Everest; the weather is stable and winds speeds are favourable for the climbers. As the climbing season nears, let’s take a look at some interesting facts related to Mount Everest.

While Nepal pegs the height of the mountain to be 8,848 m (29,029 ft), China, till 2010, claimed it to be 8,844 m (29,016 ft). The difference was due to China’s earlier refusal to consider the ice at the top of the mountain while calculating its height. Following several rounds of talks between the two countries, the official height was designated as 8,848 m. Interestingly, in 2009, a GPS device was placed below the summit by American Millennium Expedition and the findings readjusted the height to 8,850 m (29,035 ft).

The Indian subcontinent was originally an independent landmass which collided with the Asian continent and led to the formation of the Himalayan chain of mountains. Researchers claim that the continental plates are still moving, making Mount Everest gain approximately four millimetres (0.16 in) in height every year.

The rock at the summit is made up of marine limestone and it is estimated that the rock was deposited at the seafloor around 450 to 500 million years ago.

The first successful summit was accomplished on May 29, 1953, by Sir Edmund Hillary from New Zealand and Tenzing Norgay, a Sherpa from Nepal. Italian climber Reinhold Messner and Austrian Peter Habeler were the first to reach the peak without bottled oxygen in 1978. Japanese climber Junko Tabei became the first woman to climb the summit in 1975. British mountaineer Kenton Cool sent the first tweet from the summit in 2011. Japan’s Yuichiro Miura became the world’s oldest person at the age of 80 years and 223 days to climb the peak of Mount Everest in 2013.

Tibetans call it Chomolungma, which means ‘Goddess Mother of Mountains.’ In Nepal, it is known as Sagarmatha, which translates to ‘Forehead in the Sky.’ The peak was initially called Peak XV, after it was first discovered in 1841 by a British survey team led by Surveyor General of India, Colonel Sir George Everest. In 1865, British surveyor Andrew Waugh’s failure to find a common local name for the mountain, led the British to officially name it after Everest.

An inactive volcano in Hawaii, Mauna Kea, rises 4,205 m (13,796 ft) above sea level. It also extends an incredible 6,000 m (19,700 ft) below the surface of the water. When measured from the floor of the ocean, the height of Mauna Kea was found to be 10,200 m (33,465 ft) making it almost a mile taller than Everest, according to the United States Geological Survey.

Euophrys omnisuperstes, also known as the Himalayan Jumping Spider, is said to be one of the Earth’s highest permanent residents with sightings reported from heights of 6,700 m (22,000 ft). The spider is believed to survive on stray insects the severe winds blowing on top of the mountain bring along.

Mount Everest has been summited more than 6,871 times by over 4,042 climbers. Climbing attempts have left over 248 (estimated) people dead between 1924 and 2013. The inhospitable terrain has claimed the life of at least one climber every year, except in 1977. On an average, one in every 10 successful climbers never makes it back to the base camp. Over 200 bodies are lying along the various routes used by climbers.

Weather, along with the treacherous terrain, is one of the main reason that makes climbing Mount Everest one of the most challenging tasks on the planet. The temperature never rises above freezing levels and averages -36 degrees Celsius in winters and -19 degrees Celsius in summers. Wind speed in excess of 200 mph have been recorded. Avalanches, altitude sickness and exposure are some of the common causes of death, beside falls.

Khumbu Icefall, a river of constantly shifting ice, is considered to be the most dangerous area of the mountain. It normally takes around 12 hours to climb the final mile from the highest base camp to the summit.

Normally, a plume of white stream blows off the top of the Everest’s peak. It is a jet stream with wind currents reaching up to 250 mph.

Sherpas have become synonymous with climbing Mount Everest. Excellent mountaineers and knowledgeable about the terrain, they guide expedition teams and also work as porters.

The number of climbers attempting to conquer the peak have steadily increased over the years. An image taken in 2012 by climber Ralf Dujmovits showed a ‘human snake’ of 600 climbers lining to reach the summit. On May 19, 2012, 176 people managed to reach the peak in course of just half a day!

Apa Sherpa currently holds the record for the highest number of peak conquests with 21 successful summits.

In March this year, Google teamed up with Apa Sherpa to map various local landmarks, schools and base camps around the base of the peak.

In May 2012, Chhurim Sherpa made two back-to-back attempt to scale the peak in the same climbing season. Her first attempt was made on May 12, along with four other mountaineers. Five days later, she initiated her second attempt to the top from the steepest side, all on her own.

French Marco Siffredi and Austrian Stefan Gatt became the first two men to snowboard down Everest in May 2001. In 2002, Siffredi chose the steepest and the most hazardous route for his second attempt, but he disappeared midway during his descent.

Nepal’s Pemba Dorje Sherpa became the fastest man to climb Mount Everest when he climbed to the top in eight hours and 10 minutes in 2004.

The air pressure at the peak is one-third of sea level pressure, resulting in reduced levels of oxygen for breathing. Climbers are required to carry oxygen canisters to supplement the shortfall.

Natural Beauty Of Nepal

Eye Temple

Barahi Temple

Mustang

Swoyambhunath

Fewa Lake

Himalaya

Temple

Yak

Paragliding In Pokhara

Paragliding

Paragliding

Paragliding 2

Paragliding

Rhododendron – The National Flower of Nepal

Rododendron

Lali Gurans

Lali Gurans

Lali Guras

Lali Guras

Rhododendron

Lali Guras

Pokhara Valley

Peace Stupa Pokhara

Fish Tail Mountain

Fewa Lake

Mountains

Rupa Taal

Jokes

A mother went to pick up her daughter from elementary school and found her doing handstands against the wall. When they got into the car, the mother said, “Darling, I wish you wouldn’t do that because the boys can see your panties.” “Okay, mommy,” the little girl replied. The next day, the mother noticed her little girls hands looked dirty, so she asked, “You haven’t been doing handstands again and letting those boys see your panties, have you?” “Oh no, mummy,” the daughter replied. “Honestly! I took them off first.”

Jokes

A priest is sitting in a confession box and has to go to the bathroom. He calls an alter boy over and says, “I have to go pee and I need you to take over.” Not knowing what to do, the alter boy asks for help. The priest says, “Just give them a few Hail Marys and send them on their way.” Soon after, a blonde woman walks in the booth and says, “Forgive me father. I have committed a sin. I gave my boyfriend a blowjob.” The alter boy is confused, so he asks another nearby alter boy, “What does the priest usually give for a blowjob?” The second alter boy replies, “I don’t know about you, but my price is a candy bar and a Pepsi.”

Jokes Factory

A young man and woman got married. At the time of their marriage, the husband noticed his wife carried a decently sized metal box and shoved it up at the top of their closet. Curious as he was, the wife told him to never to look in it no matter what the circumstances. Over the years, he saw that metal box in the closet, but never peered into it for the sake of his wife. One day, though, the wife had a stroke and was rushed to the hospital. As the husband sat grieving at home, he thought of the box, snatched it up, and sped to the hospital where his wife remained with her death coming soon. The husband bolted to her hospital room and pleaded and begged her to allow him to open the box by her side. “Well” she said, “I suppose now would be the right time.” The husband unlatched the hook and peered inside. On one side sat two crocheted dolls, and on the other, to his surprise, sat one million dollars! “Honey, before we got married, my mother gave me this box and told me that whenever I got mad at you, I should go to the bedroom and crotchet a doll,” said the wife. The husband was thrilled and thankful. He absolutely couldn’t believe his wife had only been mad at him two times! “That is amazing!” said the husband to his wife. “Honey, I’m grateful beyond belief you’ve only been mad at me twice, but how on this earth did you manage to get one million dollars?” “Oh, honey” said the wife, “That’s the money I got from selling the dolls.”

Jokes Factory

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approaches the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor, and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.” He passes the minister a $100 bill and walks away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it comes time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says, “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?” The groom gulps, looks around, and says in a tiny voice, “Yes,” then leans toward the pastor and hisses, “I thought we had a deal.” The pastor puts a $100 bill into the groom’s hand and whispers, “She made me a better offer.”

Jokes Factory

An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you hate the most.” The explorer says, “That’s gotta be my ex-wife. Why?” “I am a cursed genie. I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your ex-wife will get double that amount.” “Okay, I wish for a billion dollars.” “Granted, but you ex-wife gets two billion dollars.” “I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything.” “Granted, and your ex-wife gets two.” “Now make your final wish.” The explorer walks around for a few minutes, returns to the genie with a stick, and says, “You see this stick? I’d like you to beat me half to death.”

Jokes Factory

After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. “Son, when I first got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my pants. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, ‘Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.’ Ever since that day, son, we have never had a single problem.” Brian took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night. Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Brian. “Try these on,” she said. Brian went along with it and tried them on, but they were far too small. “What’s the point of this? I can’t get into your panties,” said Brian. “Exactly,” Jill replied, “and if you don’t change your attitude, you never will!”

Jokes Factory

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”

Jokes Factory

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

Jokes Factory

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”